I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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