The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
