Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
