i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My ATM looks so different sober.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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