guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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