It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
