Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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