taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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