So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He shit in the fireplace
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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