its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
