Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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