You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
