my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
