hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
