well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
