Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize