playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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