im drinking this country out of the recession.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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