my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
