why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
they're like a gay fantastic four
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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