Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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