she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize