how do flat chested girls get laid?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
