and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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