i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
