So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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