i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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