hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
do nipples grow back?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
