dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize