awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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