I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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