DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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