New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
