can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
