Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
