it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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