This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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