I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
