it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
