please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
