You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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