i permit you to call me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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