oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
false alarm, still single
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
