True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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