cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
