Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
