Christians are straight up FREAKS
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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