i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
