i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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