Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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