He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize