Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
