so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
