Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
