is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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