well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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