The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
