Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
