My nipple is on Facebook.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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