So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
