Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
