I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
