i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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