What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
