Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
