my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
