You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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